You Are In Constant Creation
It’s a Gregorian Calendar New Year, and we get to “become new” again, to psyche up to clear out old ideas and set forth in better ways. As we create a new sense of ourselves, though, we often get mired in a nauseating thought pattern of doom — the never-ending carousel of past scenarios. It should make us a dizzy, like a bad carnival ride, but we keep staying on the horse, grasping at phantom rings.
The past has nothing much for us except lessons learned, consciousness expanded (usually due to painful circumstances and crushing or shocking realizations) and memories we should make some kind of art out of, or do some kind of kind act in response to, rather than allowing the emotional energy of the past to simply swirl on inside our personal fairground.
If we jump down from that illusory construct, we will stand on imperfect solid ground and find ourselves able to walk onward with a sense of welcoming the new. In our very nature, we are constantly being renewed, whether we realize it or not. Creation did not just happen once, and we were not just made “real” once — we evolved, our cells multiplied unhindered, and here we are, alive to contemplate all this mad world. To realize that creation of life is abounding at all moments, that life is not a static concretized concept, or a nightmare carnival show, but an actual vibrant, constantly changing and momentous event, is exciting. The thrill is in the moment we realize we are quickening always, nothing is solid and really it is our mental or emotional willpower that keeps a lot of what we think or feel “alive” within us.
We are a creation always becoming, and what a sensationally marvelous thing it is to realize, so fruitful and abounding in joy. Sometimes Genesis is thought of as, not exactly terrible sins of the two new humans, Adam and Eve, but symbolic of temptation brought on by puberty. Everything before that was paradise, it was simple, being naked was no big deal. Babies — innocents — don’t mind being naked, there is no shame. But once we become self aware of our growing bodies, our expanding experience as humans, we get self conscious and wary, feel suddenly sexually charged and desiring. In such a state, we are capable of destroying just about anything, even paradise, to serve the burgeoning life force energy compelling us to pro-create, to self-gratify and thrive.
And then many more life experiences begin as a result. No wonder Adam and Eve skulked off with embarrassment in the face of great, unspeakable loss. This “becoming” in our aliveness, this growing and desiring and being creative to the core sure does cause some harsh interludes, traumatic complications and regrets. That is when the sorry carnival is at its worse, the carnivorous and primal physical ride has not always been so happy-making. Cotton candy won’t fix it, we are bewildered.
It is the regrets therein that usually hold us back when we resolve to start anew. We try, but those past pains and shadows of what once was will not stop entering our minds, mechanically chiming into our heads. We either regret something someone did or we regret something we either did or did not do. And that cannot be all there is, and please do get me off this ride.
Alas, we can decide not to stay on the fake horse of regret, it will only make us sick, anyway. Let’s jump off and re-calibrate. Take a country day stroll beyond the menacing music and repeat-thrills that off nothing as well as the sorrows that want us to remain spinning.
Breathe in, that breath of life is the first thing that greets you and the last thing that leaves you while you are in your human form. You’re powerful, you’re filled with life, every speck of you, and you are very, very becoming.
